In Defense of Self Defense

I took a women's self defense class with Aikido of Fresno this morning.  I really should have sooner considering that it has been over fourteen years since I've attended a jujitsu class.  Once upon a time, I worked to get a black belt in jujitsu.  Now I'm lucky if I can remember that I can slap someone.  A friend had told me that the Aikido of Fresno's self defense seminars were worth going to, and so I bought the $20 ticket on Eventbrite for this one.  And then I bought a $35 card for ten more classes to try out some actual Aikido.

Originally, I had been planning to starting another martial art when Ro started a martial art, but it doesn't look like he'll be taking classes with Aikido of Fresno.  Their only kids classes are at 4:30pm during the week even though the adult classes are evenings and Saturdays.  I guess there are enough other people out there who can take their kids to these classes to keep them open.  I'm thinking about getting him enrolled in a ninjutsu class on Saturday mornings instead.  We'll see how that goes.

I realized a few things from taking the class:
1) Women have a tendency to be small and inobtrusive.  I want to say that it's a part of being a weak person, but it isn't.  It also doesn't have anything to do with how anyone is raised.  Women just want to avoid conflict at all costs and it usually means by doing what then can to appear non-threatening.  Smiling at strangers even if it looks like they're going to hurt them.  Trying your best to get out of a hold by moving the other person as little as possible.  There are zero instincts for a woman to even claim her space to get out.

 I was reminded of this when we were learning how to get out of being sat on with the attacker being in a position to hit or choke the victim.  It was really tempting to just try to slide out from underneath without disturbing the person on top.  Instead, the objective is to toss the attacker off by throwing him off balance and create a large enough gap to escape by planting and kicking your body out while leaving your arms up to block further attacks.

2) This self defense class wasn't supposed to be an aikido class, but it was based on aikido principles.  It was really difficult to not resort to my jujitsu reflexes (I still had some!) right away.  I had to consciously clear my mind, but, in doing so, I could see where even my self defense styled jujitsu was still more sporty than aikido.  Most of the focus in the moves was towards getting away rather than beating the crap out of someone or grappling until the other person is under my immediate control.  It became difficult towards the end of the class to remember that I couldn't just block the hit, grab the person, and then knock him out.  I was supposed to step back, yell for help, and run away.  That being said, there were a few times when the black belt I was working with (Josh from the Flowing with Famous podcast, which was cool in its own way) forgot that I was just taking a self defense class and accidentally threw me a couple times.  I still had the reflex to slap the mat to break my fall.  I got a chance to throw him a few times, too.

I may not have attended a martial arts class since taking jujitsu fourteen years ago, but I had always planned for my next martial art to be Aikido.  I knew that I would have to take a Brazilian-style jujitsu class if I wanted to continue jujitsu.  I didn't want to because I preferred the Japanese self defense style of the one I had taken before.  Other martials arts also focused more with the mixed-martial arts sport styles and I wasn't interested in that.  I really missed the sport style of practicing a martial art.  I have been running as my main form of exercise and I can never get to the "runner's high" as well as I could reach the adrenaline high with jujitsu.  Hitting the "click" spot while playing music with a band or during a performance is also a much more reliable way to reach that high.  My black belt test and the man-in-the-middle practices were always my favorite because that was always my nightmare scenario of being surrounded with no way out. For the record:  I could always get out.

3) It feels safer to try new things with friends or family, but it may actually be better to go alone.  I've decided to try to stop using my phone when I'm anywhere new to force myself to talk to other people, even if it is just to confirm details about the event that I could look up on my phone.  I tried this out at my last 5K run at the Shinzen Garden and got to talk to a few really nice people.  In the end, it didn't really feel like I was running the race alone.  In the case of this class, it helped to show up alone.  If I had taken a friend, it would have been really tempting to hang out with the friend the whole time.  The friend might take it easy on me and I would have almost no chance to learn or practice.  I saw that happen with the other two ladies in the class who were there together.

I know I'm pretty much a kinesthetic learner.  I remember things by stories and by doing.  I'm not too great of a listener or watcher because I will get bored easily.  I have to write stuff down during classes, but I don't need to look at the notes again unless I am writing them over and over to study.  As it is, unless B or Ro are interested in learning, I don't really have a chance to practice what I learned today at home or anywhere outside of the class.  Because I had a chance to pair up with other women and practice with Josh, I was able to learn much more.

4) I really need to figure out what hobbies or extra stuff I want to do and keep it at a few.  I'm already planning on signing up for the New Horizon's band, which will be meeting once a week starting in August.  I want to sign Ro up for that ninjutsu class, but we will only be able to go during the pomegranate and citrus seasons unless I can work something out with other family members.  B still wants to continue his long distance biking.  I also still want to keep up with running because I feel great when I'm able to just get up and run eight miles.  I also have been wanting to continue my counseling appointments once a month because I care about my friends and don't want to dump my emotions on them when we only talk once every few months.  If I start the aikido, I'll have to rethink the gym membership...it's a lot to think about.

What is the right amount of budgeting when it comes to spending time with family, spending time with friends, and spending time doing your own thing?  I mean, I'm writing this post while watching Justin Time on Netflix with Ro.  I consider this as partially spending time with him because he never just blank-stares the screen.  He's always asking questions and connecting with me to laugh at something on the show, but it doesn't completely count as quality time because I'm not giving him my undivided attention.  A guest on the podcast How to Money said he and his stay-at-home wife give each other two nights a week where one spouse could just walk out the door and do something outside of the family, no questioned asked.  To me, that seemed like too much time away from family duties, but is it?

I did miss these guys while I was at my class.