I admit, it's been awhile since I last posted here. I haven't really been feeling well lately and have been fighting depression.
I know what has been bringing this on. I've been overworked at work, and I don't feel very productive anymore. At home, I'm just going through the motions of existing. Sometimes, I can manage to get the laundry folded up, clean all of the dishes in the sink, and get most of the stuff picked up from the floor. If I'm super lucky, I can also manage to sweep up all of the random dirt that is no longer trapped in the carpet we used to have from our laminate flooring. But I'm just going to need to repeat these actions in the next few days. I'm finding myself more often hiding from life by playing cell phone games. Reading at least feels productive.
I have a feeling that most of this comes down to it being a year since my car accident. I still don't want to talk about it, but I'll try to make this a more productive post by focusing on listing the good and bad about making the decision to be a one-car family.
A year ago, we went back and forth about whether or not to get a second car. In the end, we decided to stick to this one-car strategy. For the most part, it goes pretty well. Just like most situations, things aren't perfect, but they wouldn't be either if we were maintaining two cars. It would be easier if Ro's school/daycare was a lot closer to where we lived and worked, but my workplace and Ro's school/daycare aren't necessarily static as time moves on. Here are a few instances when we might have needed two cars and we managed to survive with just one:
1. This morning. Ro wasn't feeling very well last night. I think it's because he fell asleep before he had a chance to take his allergy medicine and vitamins the night before. He complained of sniffles and started coughing yesterday. This morning, he looked and acted like he felt better, but he said he was still " a lot sick" and wanted to stay home. B wanted to force him to go to school. I said it would be okay to stay home. I was starting to feel congested and, if I had only the beginning of what he had, Ro might be feeling worse. Ro was excited and thought this would mean spending the whole day home watching cartoons on tv and playing games with me. I told him being sick meant staying in bed with me with his eyes closed and being quiet the whole time (I wanted to go back to sleep). B tried to stay at home as long as he could without being late to work to give Ro enough time to change his mind. Then B drove the car to work.
A half hour later, Ro decided he was bored and felt well enough to go to school. We got dressed, walked over to Starbucks, had breakfast, and then took a Lyft to Ro's elementary school. Ro was cool up until he came within view of the school. We were an hour and fifteen minutes late to his three hour class. Ro tried to throw a fit the whole time, but I picked him up and my rushing around threw off his game. We had to take a different entrance to his classroom because the front gate was locked, which threw him off further and I was able to throw him into his classroom, sign him in, and say goodbye really quickly without any further incident. My Lyft driver was very kind about patiently waiting for me to check Ro into his class before driving me all the way back across town so I could pick up my work truck. With a 25% off deal for a weekday ride, the whole trip cost $23.05 with a tip.
2. One Friday morning in October, Ro's school had a Pancakes in Pajamas event. I was hoping that this would be a neat event to meet some of the other parents and just spend some extra time with Ro. It was such a big event that I ended up not meeting any other parents, but Ro and I still had a lot of fun. I didn't want him to wear his pajamas because it was too cold, and so he wore a set of dinosaur sweats and I wore something similar. We dropped B off at work first and then drove the car to the school for the pancake breakfast. Ro was still hungry afterwards (it was a single pancake and a single sausage per person), and so we went to the cafeteria for more food. There we met up with another one of Ro's friends (All of the girls in his class seems to like him a lot. B thinks I'm overthinking it, but I see how they all go out of their way to try to get his attention and he is more focused on doing his own thing.) at the cafeteria before I took him to class. He cried and threw a fit about me having to leave him, but I managed to get out soon enough.
I then drove the car to B's work to park it at his parking garage. I texted him the stall number where I parked the car and walked to Courthouse Park to catch a bus back to northwest Fresno. It was nice because I had a lot of options: I could take the 45 bus, but would have to wait awhile because it only runs every half hour; or I could take the 26 bus, but get dropped off two blocks from home. I ended up taking the 26, which worked out great because I REALLY had to use the bathroom and pick up a book from the library anyways. I then just walked the two blocks home, grabbed my bike, and rode to my work truck.
3. We decided to get solar panels installed on the house. The best loan option was an Ecological Loan through the Educational Employees Credit Union. I'm not an educator anymore, but we did have a student in the family, Ro. The funny thing about Ro being a student is that he's in pre-Kindergarten, which is not mandated. We made the decision for solar after enrolling him in school. If we hadn't enrolled him in school, we wouldn't have been eligible for this loan. The only thing was that Ro, being in pre-K, didn't really have any proof of being enrolled in school. Pre-K doesn't really send out letters in the school letterhead. We didn't have a report card for him. So, I had to make an in-person visit for some kind of record.
I left work around noon and took the 45 bus from my work parking spot towards Ro's school (started at 1PM and the ride was about one hour). Then I had to walk a block from the bus stop to Ro's school. The admin secretaries then gave me a copy of Ro's permanent record (!!) after verifying that I was his mother. Then I had to walk down another three blocks to the next bus station. That one (I can't remember the number now) ended up being about a half hour late, but I rode on it all the way to B's work about 4:45PM. I got to the car just as he was pulling out of the parking garage and just jumped in so we could meet with the loan officer at EECU. Luckily, we were able to email the other documents we needed and so the rest of the process was relatively painless.
Other considerations:
--We take fewer frivolous trips with car because we know that it needs to be available for other family members to use. We communicate better to coordinate our plans. B did point out that we had put twice as much mileage as we usually do on this one car, but it makes sense because we would otherwise just split that mileage between two cars.
--We do have a fall back plan. If there is a situation where B needs to drive out of town or do more frequent trips, he can borrow a car from a family member. For example, I have a conference in Visalia coming up in January. I have secured a ride from a coworker going to the same conference, but I could borrow a car to drive down there if I really needed to.
--Alternative transportation in Fresno is an adventure. Ro loves to take the bus whenever and wherever we can. I probably should figure out a way to coordinate stroller running with taking the bus during such times as when I take him across town to his ninja class in Clovis. There are quite a few characters on the bus and the commuting pros are super helpful at making sure that any confused person is taking the right bus and going the right direction. Outside of taking the bus, I've met the nicest drivers while taking the Lyft to pick up the car and Ro when B has various meetings all over town.
--B and I are forced to limit our hobbies outside of home. We've managed to not over-commit outside of our families, and we're pretty creative about getting to activities that are important to us. When I started playing with a community band again, I had to figure out a way to get me and my trombone to practices eight miles away from where I part my work truck. I found I could take a bus from my parking spot to practice, but it was nerve-wracking because it would be consistently fifteen minutes late. Later, I wanted to avoid having to wake up earlier for B to drop me off at work, and so I tried to bungee cord my trombone to my bike. I bought a backpack-style gig bag when I found that there was no comfortable way to bungee cord my trombone to the bike, which gave me some autonomy until the weather got much foggier. B is still going to church activities in Parlier, and so there is no way around him not taking the car there, but we have figured out ways to plan regular trips to Costco, the post office, etc. It goes back to the first item of this section where we just have to communicate where we need to go and there's usually a way to make things happen. I still attend Meetup events and visit friends as regularly as I can, too.
--We try to pay better attention to timing the weather. I have gotten really lazy on checking the weather each week even though I do a lot of work outside. If we know it's going to rain, I'll make a better effort to wake up earlier for B to drop me off at work, and I know I can't work overtime so he can pick me up from work. Most of the time, I'll just bike through a light rain in the morning. If the rain is much heavier in the afternoon, it's the best excuse for me to take a hot bath when I get home and focus more on the cozy stuff. No one is in the mood to do anything when it rains that much anyways.
And so, I think we're going to continue with this whole one-car thing. It's kind of like removing the tvs from every room in the house and forcing everyone to spend time together in one room. We're forced to communicate together and come to an agreement. Maybe we'll get an electric car later for the short commutes, but I think we're still a ways from that.
I know what has been bringing this on. I've been overworked at work, and I don't feel very productive anymore. At home, I'm just going through the motions of existing. Sometimes, I can manage to get the laundry folded up, clean all of the dishes in the sink, and get most of the stuff picked up from the floor. If I'm super lucky, I can also manage to sweep up all of the random dirt that is no longer trapped in the carpet we used to have from our laminate flooring. But I'm just going to need to repeat these actions in the next few days. I'm finding myself more often hiding from life by playing cell phone games. Reading at least feels productive.
I have a feeling that most of this comes down to it being a year since my car accident. I still don't want to talk about it, but I'll try to make this a more productive post by focusing on listing the good and bad about making the decision to be a one-car family.
A year ago, we went back and forth about whether or not to get a second car. In the end, we decided to stick to this one-car strategy. For the most part, it goes pretty well. Just like most situations, things aren't perfect, but they wouldn't be either if we were maintaining two cars. It would be easier if Ro's school/daycare was a lot closer to where we lived and worked, but my workplace and Ro's school/daycare aren't necessarily static as time moves on. Here are a few instances when we might have needed two cars and we managed to survive with just one:
1. This morning. Ro wasn't feeling very well last night. I think it's because he fell asleep before he had a chance to take his allergy medicine and vitamins the night before. He complained of sniffles and started coughing yesterday. This morning, he looked and acted like he felt better, but he said he was still " a lot sick" and wanted to stay home. B wanted to force him to go to school. I said it would be okay to stay home. I was starting to feel congested and, if I had only the beginning of what he had, Ro might be feeling worse. Ro was excited and thought this would mean spending the whole day home watching cartoons on tv and playing games with me. I told him being sick meant staying in bed with me with his eyes closed and being quiet the whole time (I wanted to go back to sleep). B tried to stay at home as long as he could without being late to work to give Ro enough time to change his mind. Then B drove the car to work.
A half hour later, Ro decided he was bored and felt well enough to go to school. We got dressed, walked over to Starbucks, had breakfast, and then took a Lyft to Ro's elementary school. Ro was cool up until he came within view of the school. We were an hour and fifteen minutes late to his three hour class. Ro tried to throw a fit the whole time, but I picked him up and my rushing around threw off his game. We had to take a different entrance to his classroom because the front gate was locked, which threw him off further and I was able to throw him into his classroom, sign him in, and say goodbye really quickly without any further incident. My Lyft driver was very kind about patiently waiting for me to check Ro into his class before driving me all the way back across town so I could pick up my work truck. With a 25% off deal for a weekday ride, the whole trip cost $23.05 with a tip.
2. One Friday morning in October, Ro's school had a Pancakes in Pajamas event. I was hoping that this would be a neat event to meet some of the other parents and just spend some extra time with Ro. It was such a big event that I ended up not meeting any other parents, but Ro and I still had a lot of fun. I didn't want him to wear his pajamas because it was too cold, and so he wore a set of dinosaur sweats and I wore something similar. We dropped B off at work first and then drove the car to the school for the pancake breakfast. Ro was still hungry afterwards (it was a single pancake and a single sausage per person), and so we went to the cafeteria for more food. There we met up with another one of Ro's friends (All of the girls in his class seems to like him a lot. B thinks I'm overthinking it, but I see how they all go out of their way to try to get his attention and he is more focused on doing his own thing.) at the cafeteria before I took him to class. He cried and threw a fit about me having to leave him, but I managed to get out soon enough.
I then drove the car to B's work to park it at his parking garage. I texted him the stall number where I parked the car and walked to Courthouse Park to catch a bus back to northwest Fresno. It was nice because I had a lot of options: I could take the 45 bus, but would have to wait awhile because it only runs every half hour; or I could take the 26 bus, but get dropped off two blocks from home. I ended up taking the 26, which worked out great because I REALLY had to use the bathroom and pick up a book from the library anyways. I then just walked the two blocks home, grabbed my bike, and rode to my work truck.
3. We decided to get solar panels installed on the house. The best loan option was an Ecological Loan through the Educational Employees Credit Union. I'm not an educator anymore, but we did have a student in the family, Ro. The funny thing about Ro being a student is that he's in pre-Kindergarten, which is not mandated. We made the decision for solar after enrolling him in school. If we hadn't enrolled him in school, we wouldn't have been eligible for this loan. The only thing was that Ro, being in pre-K, didn't really have any proof of being enrolled in school. Pre-K doesn't really send out letters in the school letterhead. We didn't have a report card for him. So, I had to make an in-person visit for some kind of record.
I left work around noon and took the 45 bus from my work parking spot towards Ro's school (started at 1PM and the ride was about one hour). Then I had to walk a block from the bus stop to Ro's school. The admin secretaries then gave me a copy of Ro's permanent record (!!) after verifying that I was his mother. Then I had to walk down another three blocks to the next bus station. That one (I can't remember the number now) ended up being about a half hour late, but I rode on it all the way to B's work about 4:45PM. I got to the car just as he was pulling out of the parking garage and just jumped in so we could meet with the loan officer at EECU. Luckily, we were able to email the other documents we needed and so the rest of the process was relatively painless.
 |
| Yes. That is a trombone bungee corded onto a bike. |
Other considerations:
--We take fewer frivolous trips with car because we know that it needs to be available for other family members to use. We communicate better to coordinate our plans. B did point out that we had put twice as much mileage as we usually do on this one car, but it makes sense because we would otherwise just split that mileage between two cars.
--We do have a fall back plan. If there is a situation where B needs to drive out of town or do more frequent trips, he can borrow a car from a family member. For example, I have a conference in Visalia coming up in January. I have secured a ride from a coworker going to the same conference, but I could borrow a car to drive down there if I really needed to.
--Alternative transportation in Fresno is an adventure. Ro loves to take the bus whenever and wherever we can. I probably should figure out a way to coordinate stroller running with taking the bus during such times as when I take him across town to his ninja class in Clovis. There are quite a few characters on the bus and the commuting pros are super helpful at making sure that any confused person is taking the right bus and going the right direction. Outside of taking the bus, I've met the nicest drivers while taking the Lyft to pick up the car and Ro when B has various meetings all over town.
--B and I are forced to limit our hobbies outside of home. We've managed to not over-commit outside of our families, and we're pretty creative about getting to activities that are important to us. When I started playing with a community band again, I had to figure out a way to get me and my trombone to practices eight miles away from where I part my work truck. I found I could take a bus from my parking spot to practice, but it was nerve-wracking because it would be consistently fifteen minutes late. Later, I wanted to avoid having to wake up earlier for B to drop me off at work, and so I tried to bungee cord my trombone to my bike. I bought a backpack-style gig bag when I found that there was no comfortable way to bungee cord my trombone to the bike, which gave me some autonomy until the weather got much foggier. B is still going to church activities in Parlier, and so there is no way around him not taking the car there, but we have figured out ways to plan regular trips to Costco, the post office, etc. It goes back to the first item of this section where we just have to communicate where we need to go and there's usually a way to make things happen. I still attend Meetup events and visit friends as regularly as I can, too.
--We try to pay better attention to timing the weather. I have gotten really lazy on checking the weather each week even though I do a lot of work outside. If we know it's going to rain, I'll make a better effort to wake up earlier for B to drop me off at work, and I know I can't work overtime so he can pick me up from work. Most of the time, I'll just bike through a light rain in the morning. If the rain is much heavier in the afternoon, it's the best excuse for me to take a hot bath when I get home and focus more on the cozy stuff. No one is in the mood to do anything when it rains that much anyways.
And so, I think we're going to continue with this whole one-car thing. It's kind of like removing the tvs from every room in the house and forcing everyone to spend time together in one room. We're forced to communicate together and come to an agreement. Maybe we'll get an electric car later for the short commutes, but I think we're still a ways from that.
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